


Girls Night

by Flimflamflummox



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Gen, Humor, idiocy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-06 16:01:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3140240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flimflamflummox/pseuds/Flimflamflummox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The newly regenerated Doctor is supposed to be resting. Yeah, right!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Girls Night

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by River's regeneration in LKH along with all of the Doctor's regenerations. He's always so weird after he regenerates and I thought a gender change would magnify that. The Doctor's random monologue is from Macbeth.

"Ha! Your King is beaten! Surrender to the glory of the Sontaran Empire!" Strax bellowed. 

Jenny rolled her eyes. "It's just a card game, Strax."

"Why you thought it was a good idea to introduce him to a game called 'War' is beyond me," Vastra put in from the corner where she worked.

"It requires strategy and practical thinking! It is a good activity to keep our minds sharp," Strax announced.

"It's a game of luck," Jenny corrected. 

Strax mumbled something in return, but his voice was lost in the sudden whooshing sound that filled the room. Vastra and Jenny looked around eagerly to find the TARDIS in the foyer. For a minute, all was quiet. Then Jenny tentatively knocked on the TARDIS door. "Doctor? You in there?"

The door opened just a crack and the Doctor poked his haggard face out. "I'll be out in a minute; I just have to change."

The door slammed shut. "Since when does the Doctor care about getting fresh clothes?" Jenny wondered as she tried not to feel offended. 

Vastra grabbed her arm and pointed at the TARDIS windows, which glowed yellow. "I don't believe, my dear, that he was referring to his clothes."

"He's regenerating in there?" Jenny asked in awe. 

"It would appear that way," confirmed Vastra. "He's going to be confused and disorientated when he comes out here."

"He will be vulnerable!" Strax agreed. "That's when we strike!" 

"It most certainly is not!" Jenny scolded.

"The Doctor came here because he know it's a safe place for him to recover," Vastra explained. Strax managed to look slightly ashamed. 

They all froze as the TARDIS door clicked open and the new Doctor fell out in a pile at Vastra's feet.

"Oh...my," Vastra said appreciatively. 

"Oi!" Jenny thumped her on the back of the head.

Strax nudged the Doctor's limp form with his foot. "I see no difference. Are you sure he's changed?"

"Yes," Vastra confirmed happily. "SHE has!"

"How about we stop gawping and get her on the sofa?" Jenny suggested.

The detective, the maid, and the potatoish butler jumped into action, ready to tend their patient. Once the Doctor was safely deposited on the sofa, Strax pulled out his scanner. "Am I gonna make it, nurse?" a weak voice asked teasingly. 

"Doctor!" Jenny beamed. "You're awake!"

The Time Lord yawned. "Yes, I noticed. Why are you all sideways?"

"You're laying down," Jenny informed her.

The Doctor popped up like the sofa was on fire. "What did I go and do a thing like that for?"

"You passed out?" Jenny reminded her.

"Oh, so you thought 'let's go put him on a sofa', did you? I'm not an invalid!" Having gotten herself sufficiently worked up, the Doctor collapsed once more. Strax moved to help her, but she waved him off. "No, no, the floor's good, love the floor, you can't fall off the floor...hold on. Hold on! Something is...something's...Out! Out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, who struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying...I'm a woman! My voice is all female! And now it's getting really high and screechy how do I make it-" she slapped a hand over her mouth, forcibly cutting herself off. After a moment, she slowly lowered it. "Well, it's no wonder I've been falling all over the place; I'm top-heavy!" 

"Doctor, please let us take care of you until you've recovered," Vastra said when she could get a word in.

"I am recovered! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to change. These clothes seem to have gotten larger." The Doctor stood up shakily and held her arms up like she'd stuck the landing of a particularly difficult acrobatic trick. Then she studied Vastra warily. "Have you gotten taller?"

"Your perspective is skewed by the regeneration," the Silurian explained.

"You've regenerated too?" she asked excitedly. Her expression shifted to one of concern. "Regeneration can be quite tiring, would you like to have a lie down?"

Strax zapped the manic Time Lord with a stun gun and Jenny caught the Doctor and slowed her descent.

"Strax, I do not know know whether to reprimand you or thank you, so I shall do both," declared Vastra.

"She looked so peaceful when she's been zapped by a stun gun," Jenny observed. The sleeping Doctor murmured softly and attempted to cuddle Strax's foot.

*****

Jenny was at the Doctor's bedside when she finally awoke and inquired. "Am I the Doctress now? Doctress...no, that sounds rubbish, I'm still the Doctor."

Jenny smirked and savoured the relative calm for a moment before the Doctor became fully aware of her surroundings. "You put me in a BED? I don't do beds!" The maid put her hands up in mock surrender as the Doctor leaped out from underneath the covers. "Did you zap me?"

"That was Strax," she said placatingly.

"Never turn your back to a sentient potato," grumbled the Doctor.

"It was in your best interest!" Jenny insisted.

"My arm's sore!" the Doctor whined.

"That's interesting, since he zapped you in the side."

"My side hurts too!" she insisted.

"If you feel so poorly, maybe you should go back to bed," Vastra said from the doorway. 

"NO!" exclaimed the Doctor in horror. 

And then the world turned topsy-turvy. Loud crashes sounded from outside and the ground shook violently. Above the sounds of shattered glass and mayhem, the Doctor announced, "That's my cue!" and pushed past Vastra. She dashed past a startled Strax and pushed out the front door before any of them could object. Vastra sighed and prepared to follow, but before she took more than a few steps, the Doctor reentered the house grumpily. "These pants are about to fall down," she muttered by way of explanation as she trudged over to the TARDIS and slammed the door shut.

Jenny stifled a slight giggle and another set of crashes and tremors shook the ground and the half-dressed Doctor opened the TARDIS door and glanced out. Jenny felt herself blush and quickly looked away. The Doctor merely grinned. "That good, huh?" She winked and swung the door shut again. Vastra and Jenny both looked extremely flustered. Strax just looked confused.

A few moments later, she stuck a hand out of the TARDIS, holding a kilt, and called, "I don't know why this was in my wardrobe, but I'd appreciate it if someone would burn it." Strax accepted the task with glee. A third set of shakes rocked through the room and Jenny called, "Doctor! Hurry up!"

The Doctor stepped out, wearing a fairly simple ensemble covered by a crisp white lab coat, which was somewhat at odds with her combat boots.. She knelt down to tie them and Vastra inquired, "Why the lab coat?"

"Why the lab coat?" The Doctor sounded genuinely perplexed. "What do you mean, 'why the lab coat?' Nobody questions you when you wear a lab coat! I mean, look at me! I'm the freaking DOCTOR!"

"How did you style your hair so quickly?" Jenny wanted to know.

"I did a thing," the Doctor said distractedly. "Come on, I always have great hair."

Green lights flashed outside the window and the Doctor gleefully steered Vastra and Jenny out the door with a bellowed, "GIRLS' NIGHT!"

"She's enjoying this regeneration entirely too much," observed Vastra.


End file.
